Saturday, June 27, 2009

Looking For a New Job

My Resimay

To hoom it mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I kin Type realee qwik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the fone and I no I am a pepole person, Pepole realee seam to reespond too me well. Certain men and all the ladies.

I no my spelling is not too good but find that I Offen can get a job wit my persinalety.

My salerery is open so we kin discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I kin start emeditely. Thank yoo in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.



PS: Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.

Employer's response:

Dear Bubba:

It's OK, Honey. We've got spell check.

See you Monday.

Joke of the Day

My 1 day employment

So after landing my new job as a WalMart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day......

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids,yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to WalMart.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,
'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.
Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'
So I replied, neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,
I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice..
Have a good day and thank you for shopping at WalMart.'
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

Mature Men

Thursday, June 25, 2009