Friday, February 12, 2010


HEART Installation Customer:I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?
CS Rep:The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART Sir?

Customer:Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

CS Rep:What programs are running Sir?

Customer:Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

CS Rep:No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off Sir?

Customer:I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

CS Rep:My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

Customer:Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

CS Rep:Yes it is, Sir. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer:Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

CS Rep:Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEART's in order to get the upgrades.

Customer:Oops...I have an error message already. What should I do?

CS Rep:Sir, what does the message say?

Customer:It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS". What does that mean?

CS Rep:Don't worry Sir, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but In non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.

Customer:So what should I do?

CS Rep:Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer:Yes, I have it.

CS Rep:Excellent Sir, you are getting good at this.

Customer:Thank you.

CS Rep:You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer:Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over My HEART!

CS Rep:Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle It from here. One more thing before I go...

Customer:Yes, Sir?

CS Rep:LOVE is freeware. Sir be sure to give it and its various modules to every body you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you. Customer:I will Sir. Thank you for your help. ~ Author Unknown


Pedders said...

Definitely a fav!!


I firmly believe that one cannot love and respect others until one loves and respects oneself just as one is. That is a fundamental principle of life. There are so many people who have such a bad image of themselves. I've met them many times in my long life. It took me quite a while to love myself as a gay man. But that is what I am and now I do love my gayness.

Ray's Cowboy said...

Pedders. I am glad you like it.

Lord ptrick I fully agree with you on this.

Stephen said...

That was very moving. Thanks for sharing that. It says it all.